wannabetvwriter

I be a good righter.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Wow. Kinda depressing.

This blog's started out with a bang. A really depressing, sad bang.

Now I'm gonna add more depression!

Recently I've become CBS semi-finalist.

And, I'd like to talk a little about the irony of the CBS debacle. Which is related to the Disney Debacle. However, I'm really proud of the fact that I was a Disney Fellow. It was a HUGE achievement to be chosen out of 7,000+ entrants.

So, I get the call that I'm a semi-finalist at CBS. I'm in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Well, the pre-cooking, the stuff you do the day before. I've got like 3 pots boiling on the stove. I'm in a critical cooking zone. The phone rings and I think 'this better be fucking important.' Sort of reminscent of when WB called a few years ago (I was at an alanon meeting and this poor woman was talking about how she just found out she only had months to live, and my fucking phone rings because I was an idiot and didn't turn it off). So, CBS calls. I'm elated, stirring pots, trying to write down where I need to go, etc.

So, I go to my interview. I rool. The Disney Fellowship comes up, as I knew it would (my contingency plan, had it not, is I would bring it up at end of interview, because I've learned my lesson and it's full disclosure all the way now). I tell them what happened. I tell them that I think there are many people who might have quit writing after that experience. I tell them that quitting never entered my mind, because writing is what I want to do. They seem impressed.

Two weeks pass. And I think about it from a business standpoint. The further they get away from my interview the worse that black mark looks. So, I'm IMing with a friend of mine who happens to be an Exec Prod on a show at CBS. She offers to put in a call for me. My first instinct is, I want to win this one on my own. My second instinct is, I'm not going to get CBS because of Disneygate. So, I thank her profusely, and she says she'll call during the week.

Before she gets a free moment (she's busy people) they've made their decision. They call me, let me down easy. I figure I've got nothing to lose so I ask about Disneygate. They concede that it was the deciding factor. I totally understand. I'm bummed, but I understand.

I hang up the phone and have 10 minutes before I have to leave to go to my writers' group. I spend that 10 minutes trying not to cry. Mainly cuz I'm a big baby. Then I go to writers' group.

Now, I've never been to this person's house. And I miss one of the turns. I'm going about 40 mph. And have to come to a screeching halt because there's a tree lying in the middle of Olympic. I sit there for a moment looking at this tree. There's no way around it. It must have just fallen, because there are no cars in front of me. Cars are piling up behind me. HONKING. Like that's going to make the tree move. So, I get out of car, as do about 4 other people, and we manage to move the tree out of the road, to a soundtrack of honking assholes.

As I'm driving to this woman's house, back on course, I realize it's a total metaphor for my year. I'm not sure who the tree is. Or what the tree is in the grand scheme of the metaphor. It might be me? It might be Disneygate. I had a whole feverish IM (as in I had a fever, not heated debate) with a friend about this, where we decreed we were all the tree. We're all zen and shit.

So, that might be the end of the story, but it's not.

Two days after they rejected me, CBS calls me. They're letting me know that my friend had called. And they're insistent that I apply next year. Like, really insistent. I'm like, "the facts aren't going to change here. The reason I got rejected will still be there." THEM: "You should apply." Erm. Okay.

So... the moral of the story is: Move trees and keep on applying. At least, I think that's the moral. I still have that fever, so I'm not at full brain capacity. (Um, full brain capacity for me is two brain cells. Who are fighting.)

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