I be a good righter.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Sliding Doors Alterno Fate.

So, I was just IMing with a friend, and learned that they'd interviewed at kind of a well known company a while back. Now, this friend currently has a pretty nice gig going, and seems pretty happy. But as soon as I'd heard that they'd interviewed for That Company, I became immediately curious. Not just because of the interview, but because my friend had actually turned down their offer. My friend turned down That Company.

Now that I'm out of shock, I get it. That Company is soulless. Or perhaps it's full of souls? The place where souls go to die? Or the people who work there eat the souls? All I know is that the employees are generally known as soulless, but that doesn't mean they can't dine on a soul or two, right? A little salt, a little pepper, I bet a soul's delicious.

But I couldn't help but wonder (yes, I'm channeling my inner Carrie): What if my friend didn't? What if my friend said: Yes, I'd love to share a soul and a nice bottle of Chianti?

And this brings me to the game I play. I've been playing it since 1998. When SLIDING DOORS came out. With a very cute Gwyneth doing a quite brilliant UK accent and the uber-hot-but-I-don't-know-why-it-must-be-the-accent, John Hannah. It's where, on this one special day, poor Gwyneth gets fired (or something, it's been 8 years since I saw it), and she runs to the tube and gets on the train. Except, as she's running to the tube, she kind of splits in two. So, we've got Gwyneth 1 who's caught the train, and Gywneth 2 who trips over some kid (aren't kids great, no really), and misses the train.

So, we go on this journey with both Gywneth 1 and Gwyneth 2. They lead very different lives. One becomes immediately assertive and cuts her hair (thank god, otherwise, how would we tell them apart?), the other's meek and stays with the Asshole Boyfriend, because she missed the train and totally missed coming home to find him in bed with a slut. In the end, thank god (DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT), both Gwyneths end up with John Hannah. Really. Thank god. Because, now we know that in all universes we will end up with John Hannah. This is very good news, my friends.

This is a very long winded explanation. But, I had to be sure that you knew the rules.

Now, I have many Sliding Doors Alterno Fates. They're usually about how much better my life would be if only I'd done THAT. Or THIS. Or THAT. See? I can't even make up my mind. I'm so about that greener grass.

Well, I figure my friend, in their alterno fate, said YES! YES! A THOUSAND VIRGIN SOULS, YES! to That Company. And my Alterno-Friend is now lying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean after driving their car off a cliff in a blinding alcoholic rage, all because she ate too many souls.

So, my question to you kind folks: What is your Sliding Doors Alterno-Fate?


  • At February 15, 2006 7:04 PM, Blogger Scribble94 said…

    hey, found your blog a while back from a comment you posted on another. checked back on a whim. surprised to see a few updates.
    i have an alterno-fate i still think about. I'm walking with 2 Harvard Lampooners. They say they're moving to NYC after graduation, with no jobs lined up, just to write. How will you eat, I ask. We'll just eat a lot of hot dogs, one of them says. You should come with us, he adds. And he looks like he means it. For a second I'm floored. Then back to reality. I say no, I can't, I need to make some money for my broke-ass family. They shrug. They both go on to become showrunners.

  • At March 20, 2006 8:41 PM, Blogger Raven said…

    I have a billion alterno-fates. A billion what-ifs. What if I had taken this or this or this action at this or this or this time? But ultimately I think things happen the way they're supposed to, even when it really really sucks. We get what we're supposed to get at the point where we are in our lives. And maybe what we get isn't what we'd like and maybe it sucks because WE suck (I know I do a lot of the time) and we didn't have the courage to do something else. But I guess I solidly believe in one single fate. Sorry for getting metaphysical.

  • At March 21, 2006 10:00 AM, Blogger BooM said…

    Nice Alterno-Fate, Scrib!

    Rave, there is only one fate, agreed. We will all end up with John Hannah. Jeez, didn't you read the post? ;)

  • At March 29, 2006 11:11 PM, Blogger Brett said…

    I sometimes wonder if this ISN'T my alterno-fate-- that somewhere my actual fate is rolling along splendidly and all roads lead to pots of gold and all the women look like Halle Berry and think I'm charming, and I missed the turn and am here, now, typing this stupid comment.

    That'll mess with you if you dwell on it for too long.

    So I don't.


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