pocket deuces never loses

In Ireland I find I have a lot of time to play online poker. Like, a lot. I should be writing... but, I'm playing me some online pokah. Also, it's weird, in LA I trained myself to write in the mornings. Around that time everyday, that's when I'm ready to write, even though it's night over here. And, there's the hubby to tend to, and things, and a tired me, and things, and online poker... so, I gotta re-train myself.

Anyway, I get this shocking email today, and I can't quite get over it. My friend, Marshall, who had been working in the industry as an assistant for some time, who seemed like he was dying to break in, who couldn't get a new assistant job for the past year, has officially quit trying. I don't know what he's going to do, other than move home to Wyoming. It's all so foreign to me. And, it's been weighing heavily on my mind.

We're writers. We don't give up on the dream, do we? We're in for the long haul, right? I don't know that he's quitting writing. He's just sick of television (another foreign concept).

You know what? Good for him. If he can pack it in and say good night, best of luck. I could never do that. See, I've learned something about myself as I idle away the hours playing poker, I've learned that I'm not an all in kind of gal, unless I'm holding the best hand. I don't bluff (much), if I put you on a better hand than me, I'll fold. Thing is, as soon as I found TV writing, I knew I was holding the best hand. I knew that I could go all in -- and have -- and end up winning. I've sacrificed some monster hands, because sometimes pocket aces get cracked. But, Marshall was short-stacked against a city full of people who currently were holding better cards than him. And, he decided to make a move. A move back to Wyoming. So he's out of here. Well, there, since I'm in Dublin (for the next couple of months). But, yeah. Have I worked the poker analogy to death? Apologies.

I swear it's like he's died. Or, broken up with me. Or... I don't even know. I do know a lot of people would view this as "less competition." But, I'm not built like that. I don't see my fellow writers as competition, I see them as peers, as people who can help one another succeed. And, one of my peers has fallen, and I don't think I can help him.

And, it's just sad.

And, I'm thankful that quitting has never entered my mind (or, if it has, it'll take a crack detective to wrench an admission out of me). In fact, I'm thankful for a lot of things. My husband, my friends, my family and my chosen career. No matter how shitty it gets, they can pry Final Draft from my cold dead hands.

Good luck to Marshall, wherever you are these days, and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!