I'm Not Back.

Seriously. There's nothing to talk about in television or my life.

I AM NOT KIDDING!

"Shameless" is not happening on Showtime. It's not, like, the best show ever. I'm definitely not speccing it. But I am totally enjoying the second season because the characters are all completely likeable and never, you know, kill anyone. (In reality, I'm glad Steve's somewhat back, because Steve/Fiona keeps the show grounded, so Frank can go fuck up whatever it is he's going to fuck up this week).

"Game of Thrones" is not about to begin its second season. And this show definitely doesn't have the distinction of illustrating how perfectly one can write a boring talking-heads scene and make it insanely not boring. Or have the distinction of showing how horribly wrong a talking-heads scene can go.

Lemme back up a second. I took a class a long time ago where the instructor was adamant that in any talking heads scenes, one or both people involved should be doing something interesting. Cooking dinner, fighting a demon, what have you. It, according to him, makes the scene more compelling. I've tried to do this in a number of my scripts, and have found that he was completely right.

In GoT, there were two separate episodes that did exactly this. In one episode Tywin and Jaime are discussing the future. During the entire conversation, Tywin guts a stag. Entrails spilling everywhere. It is potentially the most gruesome, compelling conversation I've ever seen on screen.

HOWEVER.

In another episode, two women are having some amazing sex in the background while a dood takes us down exposition alley. I've watched this scene three times now and still have trouble concentrating on what he's saying, because, um, THERE ARE TWO WOMEN FUCKING IN THE BACKGROUND.

So, I guess the lesson learned is have your characters be doing something interesting, but not too interesting...

So glad that I could talk to you guys about something that happened a year ago. Sorry that I don't write or call. See,

As well as writing, I've also taken up roller derby. It's kinda fucking awesome. It's also a huge time suck. So, like, I don't have a lot of time to be writing blog posts... though, I do have tons of time to surf the interwebz. Priorities, yo.

Basically, I'm not back. I don't plan to be back. But maybz I'll see y'all in a couple of days when I post again.

Love,

BooM