A dollar late.

I hate Matt Nix.

That fucker keeps creating the shows I want to be creating. The pilots I should be writing. I just never realize this until after he writes them. Asshole.

Okay. I would totally settle for writing for them. And by "settle for writing," I mean I would, "kill small children and puppies and rainbows to scrape shit off the writers' shoes -- whenever needed."

The jerk even incorporates little moments that I'd love to incorporate into my scripts. I just never realize I want to until I see Mr. Nix and his merry band of writers writing them. Except for one moment. I mean, he still wrote it, but it's a moment that I would love to have written -- there was just never any opportunity to in my scripts.

Wait. Let me back up. Just in case you don't know who Matt Nix is, and haven't taken three seconds (depending on your internet connection) to look him up, he's the creator of BURN NOTICE and THE GOOD GUYS. I really, really, really love both of these shows. In case you hadn't noticed.

ANYWAY

So, in this week's ep of THE GOOD GUYS, entitled, "$3.52" (written by the aforementioned asshole) Jack and Dan (Hanks and Whitford, respectively) are ensconced in a high-speed chase. They're the ones being chased, by a couple of bad guys in separate cars. Jack and Dan are in a beat up, old hot rod with a shot tranny (no, not a transvestite with a bullet wound). The car's not able to go as fast as they'd like it to. And, unfortunately, the bad guys are gaining. To the point that the bad guys pull up on either side of them, guns drawn.

This is a familiar moment. It's in a lot of high-speed chase scenes across television and filmdom. Usually the good guys gun it and get away. I have grown very weary of these scenes. And may even have groaned when I saw this scene. I thought to myself, as I always do...

ME: Why the fuck don't they just brake? I really gotta write a scene sometime where they fucking brake.

Just then, at that very moment, before I could think up some more profanities, and before I lost all respect for Matt Nix, Jack and Dan braked. Which meant the bad guys ended up shooting each other.

It was awesome. As awesome as it's ever been in my head.

But he wrote it first.

Fucker.

Well, hi!

Wow. It's kinda dead around here.

Kinda my fault, huh?

Well, I didn't really have much to talk about. Not that I do now. But I missed you. My four readers. I have no idea if you're even still out there! I mean, I'd think about you from time to time and the things I'd like to talk with you about. Like, HUMAN TARGET, which I loved. And the LOST finale, which I hated. And everything in between.

Or, how at one point, hungover, I decided to check out WEEDS. I did. It was awesome. I was seriously humbled as a writer. Interesting concept there, BSG humbled me and happens to be a show I began watching whilst extremely hungover. Looks like I should start watching shows hungover? Or stop? Or...?

I wanted to talk about writing specs of existing shows, but I can't even conceive of speccing any shows (except maybe WEEDS (but I don't really write half hours)). So, I'm stuck with a billion pilot ideas. Where the fuck does one start... besides at the beginning, smart asses?

Now, see, in the past, I'd always been of the mind that I could only work on one idea at a time. I'm kinda a method writer, where I like to immerse myself into the world about which I'm writing. For example, when I wrote a WITHOUT A TRACE way back when, it was about a skinhead who goes missing from prison (they did the same idea a year later -- but, they did it better), I watched nearly every season of OZ. I read scary motherfucking posting boards. I... basically, I had nightmares for the four weeks it took me to write.

But since the passing of this year, I've got ADD. I can't sit still. And because I don't feel like immersing myself for weeks/months in any of the worlds I want to create, I just wasn't writing.

But then, a while back, I lamented about all of this to a friend. She looked at me like I was crazy and suggested I just write whatever I felt like writing that day. Then I looked at her like she was crazy. Mainly because she is. She was also right. So, that's what I did. To get back on the horse.

Of course, to avoid writing (which I'm WAY better at; I am procrastination's mistress), I'm now posting again. We'll see how long this lasts...