I be a good righter.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Z is for Zombie

I was insanely drunk yesterday. It's my one day of drinking binge of the year. It happened a little later than normal, but then, it took this long for the Vikings to win.

For some reason when I drink I can't sleep very well. And for some reason last night I was overly stressed out despite the gallons of alcohol coursing through my veins. And for some reason, the first time I woke up, I thought about Zombies. I have no idea why. But then I started thinking about jobs and lack of and scripts and lack of and deadlines and not a lack of. And generally stressing out.

So, I decided to think about Zombies again.

Zombies are not particularly calming, per se. Especially the flesh eating ones. But I created some gnawers, not actual eaterers. And, I don't think they were after me, really. They just kind of were.

And after thinking about the Zombies for a while, I fell back asleep.

I guess it's like counting sheep if the sheep are people and happen to be undead.

In all, I woke up four times last night. And four out of four times, the Zombies lulled me back to sleep.

Thank you strange, gnawing Zombies.

Go Vikes. And go Zombies!

This post brought to you by the letter Zzzzzzzzzz.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Thisis retarded.

Guys. Use spell check. Please. I'm sick of reading your version of English.

"Oh, god, I’ve totally miss read this." Okay, so spell-check ain't gonna find that one. Here's, from just one BEAT SHEET that an acquaintance sent me for notes. The document is two pages long:

"fifthe grade"
"thisis" (thesis)

Normal folks, who understand the English language, aren't going to have this many misspellings in their scripts. Especially since some really amazing person invented spell check. Some of the words on the list look like the author was in a hurry, I submit that it would have taken an extra minute or two to do spell check (sure, it would have missed "miss read"). Which would have saved me writing this post. Which would mean that I would not be in my natural habitat: procrastinating.

But, some of the words make me really sad. I guess a "roberry" is what you do when you stick up a Pinkberry? And then the pokice comes after you, past the assistantgrasshopper and the assistantant. You might pick up a handbag along the way, or since you're in a hurry you might dispurses. The sad thing is, you probably turned to a life of crime because you never got past Ye Olde Fifthe Grade.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Purple People Eaters

I once wrote a short story. I'm not all that into the short story writing world, mind you. I only did it because it was shorter than writing a feature for the original portion of the CBS Mentorship application. I ended up semi-finalist that year, they loved the short story apparently.

In this short story, I have a guy who bets the house (literally) on Aaron Rodgers as first round draft pick. I have no idea if anyone remembers this year, but Alex Smith was the biggest upset/delight/surprise of the weekend.

Tonight. Aaron Rodgers played his heart out. I wish I could say that about my Vikes. I feel like it was karma somehow. Yet, I can't quite make the connection.

I'm going to take off my no-longer-new Peterson jersey and like my character did when he learned he'd lost his house, I'm going to drink myself into oblivion.