Breaking news!

My mom loves my latest script! You guys know how worried I was.

Idle Hands.

I've been lamenting for months that I've been incredibly busy. I've barely seen my friends. I've not seen many movies. I've not really done much except for writing my scripts and volunteering for various events and interning. So, it's not like I'm making moneez. I'm just working my ass off for, apparently, nothing.

And now it's over. The major event I was helping out with was this past Saturday. It happened to coincide with a smaller WGA-related event that morning. The script I'd been writing, I pretty much finished it a week ago (it needs some tweaks, but right now I'm beyond done with it). And the internship is essentially over.

So, you know, it's been go-go-go! And suddenly it's STOP! It's done! I wake up in the mornings now, my immediate thoughts are as they have been for months, "Okay, what needs to get done today?" The answer, unlike the previous months, is: "Nothing." I literally have nothing to do.

Now, normally, I work on two scripts at once to avoid this "Nothing to do" feeling. But, with all the other shiznits happening, I figured working on two scripts would be madness. However, that means that with the end of everything, I'm not entirely sure what to do with self.

I had an idea for a pilot that I was totally in love with. I wrote out a general overview of it and ran it by the writers' group. People seemed to somewhat like it. But, they didn't really get it. That's okay, it's kind of a weird concept. Which is similar to the pilot I just did (in that it's a weird concept, not a similar idea). People didn't really get it. So, I had to spend a lot of energy defending it. This was in a class I'd taken, not in the group. Group is much different, and I'd never have to defend an idea. But, being fresh off a pilot where I did have to defend it every week, I'm just a little gun shy. The end result was that people loved the idea of that pilot. Once it was written and they understood it (perhaps my communication/pitching skillz are lacking), that is.

But suddenly I'm questioning that pilot idea. Strategically is that the best thing for me to write right now? Thing is, I keep a list of all of my ideas. And last night, I went through that list with the hubby. Hoping to find something I'd really spark to. Nothing really jumped out at me. One idea jumped out at him. But, I'm not really gung ho about it. I'm going to write down the ideas here and see if anything jumps out at you guys.

1. My version of JAWS without a shark.
2. A CHUCK spec -- I have a kernal of an idea.
3. The pilot I referred to above. Think 80's action/comedy show.
4. An Indie Feature that's reminiscent of IN THE BEDROOM -- so, you know, I could win an Oscar (but also be depressed as hell whilst writing it).
5. A pilot based on a true story.

Now, let me tell you a little about five. It turns out that in the years I've been writing, I've become jaded about the business. I know a lot of folks, as mentioned before on this blog. I've tried to get some help -- but it never pans out. So, I've pretty much given up hope that any of my contacts will help.

But. I have this dream. Where number five gets written, and I give it to this guy, a showrunner who's a family friend, and he loves it and wants to get it made. There is a 0.5% chance of that happening. I know this because he'd mentioned to the person about whom the true story would be based that he'd love to figure out a way to tell this story. Well, I've figured it out.

The problem is, I've lost faith in the business. I literally only show my work to my good friends now. I sincerely doubt I'll ever make it. But I keep a small percentage of hope alive. And that small percentage rests solely on this pilot. If I write it, and nothing happens (which, frankly, it won't) I will lose all hope. So, you know, writing that one is REALLY daunting. So, I keep tinkering with the unfinished outline. Because I can't cope with finishing it and facing more disappointment.

Again, people keep telling me that having all these contacts is an amazing thing. That all my hard work networking is going to pay off. I just need to ask them for help.

Except. I have. I've asked each one of them either to A. Keep an ear out for assistant positions. B. To recommend me to a show C. To help me get an agent/manager. Granted I haven't asked all of them for all of this. I've asked each one for one of these. And, frankly, that's all I'm comfortable with.

But, this showrunner. The family friend. He was being honored at the huge event I'd helped plan this past Saturday. Everyone he works with was there. People from the network, his agents, etc. So, of course, I met his agent. And she and I got to talking. And she found out I want to be a TV writer. Er. Because I told her. And she, because of my connection with her showrunner client, wants to help me. Which is cool, but. I've been rejected by her agency. A couple of times. I'm not really in the mood for more rejection. But whatevs. I'm a glutton for punishment, so I'm oiling the wheels, and procuring something she really wants for her. In the hopes that it'll make my scripts look prettier.

But the reality is I feel like a battered wife to TV writing. I've been punched so many times that it almost doesn't hurt anymore. But, that doesn't mean I'm not going to do my damnedest and try not to get punched. And when people give me advice on how to utilize my contacts, it's akin to them telling me to leave the abuse -- I know I should, but I can't. And, when people talk to me about my writing, all of that can't help but seep into my conversation.

And all of this depression and being down on myself is purely because everything ended at once. And I have a lot of time on my hands. To think about how my career isn't happening. To second-guess what I should be writing. And not finishing scripts, because if I did, I wouldn't have an excuse for my not trying to find a new agent. Which was my plan this month. With only two days left in the month, I'm doubting that's gonna happen.

I think I'm just tired from all the busy-ness. And I don't know how to take a break. Sigh.

Re-Views.

I read none of the pilots last Spring. I have, for the most part, heard nothing about the pilots -- except for the fact that I know some folks on a bunch of them. But, I don't know what the pilots are about, I don't know who wrote them, I know (essentially) nothing more than what the marketing departments have told me. It's somewhat refreshing.

But now... now I've seen 'em -- well, whatever's aired. So here's what I think in a completely random order:

ELEVENTH HOUR

I really wanted to like this. It was the one I knew the most about, insofar as I have a good friend on it, a friend's best friend is on it, and a chick I was in a couple of classes with is on it. Which meant I knew a lot about the behind-the-scenes stuff. But not so much about the show itself. Apparently it's pretty common knowledge that the third episode was going to replace the pilot ep as the first episode CBS aired.

The third ep was written by the girl I've taken a couple of classes with (an insanely talented writer). She was in one of the diversity programs last year, which is how she got on this show. Which is a HUGE achievement in itself. There must have been something in her episode that made them want to air hers first. I wish they had. Because I still am not entirely sure I know what the fuck this show's about. It's, um, X-FILES with science? Maybe? On CBS. So, it's FRINGE for the blue hairs? I think?

I want this show to do well, I really do. And I assume they knew there were issues with the pilot as they were going to replace it. But, for some reason, they decided to air the pilot. As an aside, I know the show came to be in a very weird way, I know it originated in the UK. What I still don't know is what the show's about. And that's sad. Because I bet it'd be the type of show I'd love.

But as with all shows, I'll give it three episodes. Actually, I'll give it all the episodes that air. Because I know folks on it. But, if I didn't, I don't know that I'd give it the three episodes. Sadly.

FRINGE

I love JJ Abrams. I don't love this show. I think I want it to be X-Files and it's not. So, that's more about me than it is about them. I don't have any specific issues with the show. And I actually look forward to it being on (though when watching it I'm always just a little disappointed).

PRIVILEGED

This was my new favorite show of the season. I knew nothing about it. I almost didn't watch it. Turns out it's fluff I can love. Though, I don't know how long I can love it. What was sweet in the beginning, what was fresh, is now becoming cloying and stale. It doesn't seem to be saying anything. Where I thought the main character was going to succeed in her personal (professional) life, we're not spending a lot of time on that, and she doesn't seem all that interested in furthering her career. She does seem invested in the two girls she's tutoring (her day job), which is great. But, I'd really like to see some dilemma on how she's spending so much time on them that she doesn't have time for her career. Instead, it's about boys and crushes and sex -- which is fine if that's what the pilot had promised. But it wasn't. And I'm disappointed.

90210

I'm still watching. Not loving. There are some interesting ideas on it. It's like, if the drain's the goal, they're circling it. But not quite getting there. That's, at once, a weird yet fitting analogy for the show.

LIFE ON MARS

The "70s" moments feel forced. Like cops beating the shit outta each other. And the perps. And the... those moments just don't feel real. Yet. For some reason, I feel like I'm in really capable hands here. That those moments needed to happen so that folks can be like, "okay, this isn't dad or grandpa's cop show." And that's fine. We'll see what the second episode brings. I hope it's more reality. Bonus points for Lisa Bonet, though.

MY OWN WORST ENEMY

I love Christian Slater. Like, I LOVE Christian Slater. I want to have ten million of his babies. Sorry, hubby. It's Christian Fucking Slater. Four words: Pump Up The Volume. One word: Heathers. I could go on. But I won't. But, Christian Slater! Sigh.

I know no one on this pilot. I knew nothing about it except for the ads. Which features Christian Slater being all freaky. And I loved it. I couldn't wait for it. And I was worried. Worried that I'd hate it.

I needn't have worried.

Turns out the guy who wrote KIDNAPPED (a show I ADORED, like one of my favorites of 2006) wrote this. So exciting! And Christian Slater? It did not disappoint. It was fun, action-y, quippy, brilliance. There were some definite bumps in it. But, I think those are easily ironed out. I will continue watching. With the lights turned down low, a fire blazing, perhaps some Barry White, me, Christian and some Rosé. Monday nights are about to get freaky up in here.

Instead of writing...

I've dusted my desk, even though I've been writing from the sofa. I get all cramped and achy when I do that, so I really should switch back to writing at my desk. Especially when I've got so much writing to do today.

My external keyboard was really dirty and dusty, so I really needed to clean that. Key by key. Because I have a lot of writing to do today.

I'm just not feeling very zen in here. It's not conducive to writing. I really need to tidy up my bookshelves in order to make it feel more fluid. Because, you know, I've got a lot of writing to do today.

OMG. I totally forgot that I signed up for this 6-week internship, and she emailed me this morning asking about those emails, which I've told her MANY MANY times were sent, so I really should email her back and let her know, AGAIN, that they were sent. Because I've got a lot of writing to do and I don't want that weighing on my head.

My mentor asked for my help in some research. I should do that, even though she said it wasn't time sensitive. I don't want my brain wandering over to the research when I'm writing, because I have so much of it to do.

I thought I heard the cat puke this morning. I couldn't find it. But, just in case, I should probably launder the blanket on the bed. Even though I'm pretty sure the cat was nowhere near the bed when she allegedly puked. But, better to be safe than sorry -- especially when I've got this writing to do.

Oh! An email came in! I better check it, otherwise the little warning that I have a new email will taunt me and distract me from all of the writing I need to do.

It's my dad. An email with an article telling me how great Palin is. Wow. My die-hard Democratic dad has a hard on for her. Which is just gross to think about. I need to get away from the computer and bleach my brain before I can get to all of this writing.

I can't stop thinking about that email from my dad. I should search the entire internet to find a good counter-argument article. Then I need to compose an email to my dad. It needs to not be reactionary, but measured. Because, it turns out, my dad's the annoying troll on the internet.

Did the washing machine just finish? Maybe I should put on another load of laundry. Might as well kill two birds with one stone. Writing and housework! I'm a genius.

My story's reminding a lot of people of a popular show. I should rewatch that for research and to get me in the mood. I've got a lot of writing to do and mood's important!

Maybe a cup of tea?

Coffee?

Latte! I should go out and get one. It'll keep me going throughout this marathon writing session I'm about to embark on.

I'm hungry too. I should probably head to the grocery store. Oooh. Maybe I'll make a nice dinner for the hubby tonight. I need to go peruse all the cooking magazines I've compiled over the years.

Oooh! Someone's IMing me. Someone's challenged me to Word Twist on Facebook! Someone linked to a great article on Facebook! That zany Huffington Post. Someone linked to a great youtube video on Facebook!

Where do people find the time for this shit? I can barely find time to write.

I better post on my blog, I haven't posted on there in a while. It'll be a great warm up for all of the writing I have to do today.

It's been a while.

But, I've been busy. Creating the latest in emoticons. Today, for your viewing pleasure, I unveil my latest creation:

The PalinIcons:

The I'LL HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT ONE!:

;0

For when you can't come up with an answer.

The YOU BETCHA!:

;)

For when you want to reach all those Hockey Moms and Joe six-packs.

The AMERICAN LIKE YOU AND ME!:

;(

For when you're debating terrorists.